A model for social groups

The following is a way for me to model my social relationships.

Goals

Create a broad network of social relations as oppose to a single tight knit group. Perhaps this is a bit of an overcorretion due to my tendency to heavily rely on close relations leading to feeling stuck or burnout. This behavior can also manifest as getting over invested in a project or person. And since I enjoy being helpful I fall into a pit of living for someone else's sake. This model aims to at least prevent that.

Defining groups

In this model, a group is two or more people without a lot of crossover with other groups I'm in. If there is more than 10% people in common then they count as one group. Also, I must interact with the group for at least an hour a week.

Types (& ideal min and max)

I will aim to be in the min/max range for each group type.

♠ (3-5)

A project done with others. The group aims to complete a set of shared goals. These groups form and dissolve the most freely. Although some of this type are more resilient for example a functional roommate dynamic.

♥ (3-5)

A mutual support person or group. Ideally there are two ♥ groups that are in person and one that is remote. This group is more resilient than ♠ groups.

♣ (1-3)

A group to coordinate projects. The main function of these groups is cooridinate various projects to better work together. There is a spectrum between ♠ and ♣ groups. If high crossover exist between a ♠ group and a ♣ group then it counts as one group. Context determines which type.

♦ (0-5)

A project were the main drive is to receive money or material compensation. Work exchage would count as this type. Total weekly hours must be ≤ ♠ hours.

Tools

In maintaining this living model of my social relations I will use the following tools and others

Resolving my stuck feelings

After a social interaction if I sense I have stuck feelings I will first sleep on it. Then if feelings remain stuck I will journal to find the best way to articulate them. If they remain then I will reach out to a ♥ group and talk to them about it. Finally if the feelings are still stuck then I will create space with the group. If losing this group puts me below a minimum then I will start seeking out a new group of that type.

At this point I will let my relations in the group heal or wither organically. This is a minimal practice to process emotions and I will likely more do than just this.

Random Proper Nouns

In writing like journaling, vague references to proper nouns is confusing. So I will use random proper nouns instead. For groups this will be a random card of that suit (eg 9♦). For individuals I will use A, B, C, etc in order of appearance in that written acount. And so the rpn will change for each journaled event. An exception is progressing events and in this case the previous event will be referenced and its rpn used.